An open letter to Mr/Ms X

To

Mr / Ms /Madame X, Y and Z

Behind the counters

At the boutique, eateries,cinema halls, the kirana store,and pretty much anywhere behind any counter

Any place in the galaxy

Dear Mr / Ms /Madame X, Y and Z

I'm sure people do give you a hard time every time they visit you. I'm sure you feel like throwing glasses of water and mugs of anything you have in your hand every time you take an order. I'm also very confident you have an urge to strangle the vocal chords of the person who owns the voice which returned the "any"thing made by you, either to be changed, replaced or altered.

But hey, what were you expecting ? You didn't become a manager, tailor, developer, waiter, or any counter owner, waiting every person you cater to to heap accolades on you, did you? Specially when you have actually spoilt something awaited eagerly by the people foolish enough to believe in you? Not that you are bestowing some kind of favour on the people. You also charge exuberant sums to do it on time and people actually schedule visits to accommodate your convenience, They take pains to be nice and cordial, because i doubt they want to end up with burnt cheeks, in more ways than you think. Or a dress tucked with safety pins at your D-day.Make no mistake, you are up-above in the same list as the gods because you create, or destroy us with a click of your fingers.

And because you know it, you just act as if you own the world.

Which probably you do . But do not make mistake sirs: not the dignity of the people. No reason, which includes a bad hair day, a fight with your wife, a mother-in-law at home or PMS, gives you the right to behave haughtily or arrogantly. People go to you to get a work done. No they do not want to build relationships with you unlike what you guys claim. You might put up hoarding saying you value customer relation but i guess the small writing on it says "* conditions apply".

No, i don't want a bleach on my face because i'm allergic to all kinds of chemicals even though you swear it will make me beautiful. No, i don't want extra toppings on my anything or coffee with milk which comes from the machine and carries a price tag of forty rupees only because you are "Pizza Hut" . I did want Paprika though, at least the name of the shop where you got it from. But "Dear Manager" had an attitude but no "right" to go with it. No , i don't want to know what happened to the server but only want our website which should have been done in 15 days but has taken more than 6 months and still is no where near completion. No i don't want to wear the design you made with my khadi just because it is in but only the design i gave you. And i specially want none of it when it comes with dollops of attitude, when you don't take instructions given to you and behave as if it is people's mistake. I might be too mild to show it but just don't take it too far. The next time you might not be too lucky and the next time it might not be a blog.

The stepping stones...

I'm tired.And blissfully so.

The last time i climbed those hills was when i was still young and a few kilos less.And that was when i was still running and exercising and would never tire.Now it's a totally different story.

Anyways that isn't what this is about.

It was a trip planned for Virag and Joseph.It's a pleasure showing them around. When there's a pair of new eyes that see your country, your villages and your small world, it's like looking at all of it for the first time for you too.

After a week long 'Perspective Building Workshop" we went over to our school.After we hand painted a five hundred and a few more cards with those tiny palms and were all coloured in bright colours - pink,red, yellow, orange, blue and green, off we went strutting to the Juang village near the school and spent some lovely quiet hours just sitting at the porch of those lovely huts of the even lovelier Juang people..getting drenched it moonlight and finding our way back through the narrow lanes of the village with just that light above..It was lovely..the bright moon..the village and the people..The funniest part was when i asked the driver to switch off the lights and drive on our way back to Keonjhar after that nocturnal walk. I could sense he was totally apprehensive but what choice did the poor guy have? Once i realised he wasn't going more than a snail's pace with the lights switched off ,more so because he was scared than the real danger in it, i asked him to switch it back on..Ok there was no road that could be called one and was more a few small and big rocks piled on to give the impression..but haven't we been there zillion times already? i thought we could drive through those jungles blindfolded and there was this huge moon , almost full, shining down as if the sun had given it the power-of-attorney for a day..

If that was,'t tiring enough, i invited V and J to go on a trek..Sunday, a few friends, a hill beckoning and a trip that was begging to be taken since the stars appeared in the sky..

So there we were..all geared up, the water bottles and a heavy breakfast..Oh yes..really heavy..it being a Sunday and with J-2 and M also coming over, mom made those lovely idlis only she can make with that mean side dish of coconut and groundnut chutney , sambhar and pudina chutney to accompany.. All those who know me know that i'm a foodie but when it comes to south-indian food prepared at home-you won't find a worse sucker for it that yours truly.By the way J-2, weighing 35 kilos when you're already in your twenties and a waist size of twenty isn't really a thing to boast about..Please add a few kilos to that skeleton you carry everywhere before you vanish into thin air..The complex you give me is not to be mentioned either..And M, J and V asked me if R was your daughter..So you know what to do..

Oh..back to my track..er..trek..the ground rule when you go for a trek is never start with a full stomach..and mine was not only heavy but would have fallen off if i wasn't blessed with a flat one, not-genetically. As we started and had only walked about two kilometers i was panting like a dog..And we had still not reached the foot of the hills yet..

And guess what? Today being a Sunday and the week of picnics around this part of the world there were about a thousand people who had decided to chose our destination as their's too..The only difference was they came loaded in buses and jeeps and cars..and we were on foot..taking the road not taken..atleast not by the civilised folk....And we were stared at like we had just escaped from a zoo..Ok we made at unlikely team..two whites and one a shade of brown...But they could at least hide their incredulity till we passed them. I swear i had fight back the urge to go and put their tongues back safely to where they belonged and clip their lips more than a dozen of times..

We started on the trek through the winding footpath made since ages of travel by the people who live up in those hills. And we met quite a few of them..It was a rush today because of the weekly "haat" or market, which is where all the economics , sociology and history happened for all those people..And what took the cake was they had cattle accompanying them in those roads broad enough only to let one person pass at a time and filled with huge rocks and stones smoothed down with years of walking on them..it was quite slippery and a slip would mean a fall of quite a feet and at least a dozen broken bones and scratches..No..you wouldn't really die because the foliage is too thick and would break your fall..

The tribal people were far more decent than the "civilised" ones..There smiles were more genuine and curiosity more to know about the people rather than act "oh-i-see-foreigners-all-the-time-and-they-are-so-common" and ogle at them like it was just the opposite.

After walking for almost an hour through those meandering roads and gaining altitude with every step, we came upon the lake all of a sudden..It was breathtaking..in more ways than one..we were taking in air by gallons...and the view was magical..But that's about it..in the scene which ideally should have been accompanied by a soft rippling of water and the sound of the waterfall had about four different music systems bellowing at just below the 20 k decibels mark..and all those songs which made no sense at all..On second thoughts they did..but you'd have to have a knack for lewd double-meaning lyrics to understand them as well as a love for loud hammering that's a combination of hard metal and war drums..

When we reached the fall Joseph went into it like a fish which had been kept captive on land against his wishes..There he was..swimming and getting freezed in the water that made our feet numb..that's about the part of our bodies we managed to wet..

In the meanwhile we had visits from hundreds of the picnic-errs...staring at us as if that wasn't what they were really doing..Some overgrown teenagers beyond their teens did start to act smart, like most of them usually do..behaving worse than animals in jungles..making remarks that violate the basic rights of any human..that of dignity and respect..what with the social networking sites they virtually live in..they think everything goes...for them, it isn't real people and real feelings..i don't blame them either..It's what we get from too much exposure to all things western and yet not understanding where the rights of your freedom end and where you start encroaching the space of someone else..Seems stupid but they need to understand that watching almost naked women gyrating in music videos is one thing but expecting every woman to dress like that in real life is a different matter altogether..and all the while i was thinking about Virag who took pains to dress according to Indian sensibilities and her whole reason of coming to India was to find the inner beauty that we Indians supposedly are endowed with loads of..

As we came back there a bunch of students who came running for photographs..Virag and Joseph said they faced it all the while in India at tourist places where people wanted to take pictures with them..Joseph said he was really cool with hanging just above the fireplace as a prize certificate in the drawing rooms of the thousands of households..He also said he should actually start asking for money in return of pictures like every baba and shopkeeper did when he wanted one and save on a few rupees..

So..there..We came back through those hills..meeting those tribals again..some drunk beyond their senses and totally oblivious to the world and doing and saying things which had me in splits..and some did make sense..their anger against the civilised world which had the best of everything and yet never spared a thought about the elephants that ate their crops, the poverty they live in..oh let's forget that for a while..We also manage effectively to leave behind the plastic cups and bags and loads of garbage after we have had our picnic..for them to clean..It's their waterfall..their lake..but when have we ever spared a thought??

We were finally back..totally tired from the day of walking and climbing those hills..and those stones i stepped today were all worth the effort..because i learnt some things our books forget to teach...

India Rising???

I owe this to my friends..all those who have hummed and hawed because i've been out of touch with almost everyone.It's just one of my phases when i needed to get in touch with a very important person in my life-myself.But more on that some other time in some other age..Those who know me won't ask..and those who don't , don't need it anyways...

We have a school for Juanga girls with 150 children studying in it. Juanga is a PTG or a primitive tribal group, one of the 75 odd identified by the Government in India. They are generally defined by a declining population, low literacy rates, traditional ways of living, dependence of minor forest produces as a source of livelihood, non dependence on agriculture as a source of income..You can clearly imagine them..Yes..they live in the remotest of areas..in midst of jungles..have traditions that are lovely..

You know how they get married traditionally??Well..they'll put your disc parties to shame..Every year they have three major festivals..called "parab"..Once in winters, then in spring and then rains..which mostly coincides with sowing, ploughing and reaping of whatever "padu chasa" and "shifting cultivation" they do..These festivals run into weeks where groups of young people, men and women go to visit different clans..they have a specific number of clans and each clan has a mukhia or a leader. Each clan lives in it's own village and every village is again rule by a specific set of rules..There is a "manda ghara" or a central house(you can call it a club house if you will) and a fire burns in each of those manda ghara since they have resided there, come summer, winter or rain.It is the place where everyone sits down for a chat or important discussions or a simple game of 'bagha cheli"( Lion and Goat). Every house is a big one room where all the non-breastfeeding boys live..If you thought tribals usually have joint families..think again..They have very small nuclear families..in fact, as soon as the children stop feeding from their mothers, which would be till they are about four, the boys live in the "manda ghara" and the girls live with old women who have been widowed or living alone..Polyandry and polygamous marriages are not uncommon. Yes..going back to marriages..The groups visit each others' clan and some kind of initial wooing and matchmaking takes place in those nightlong dance and song sessions..The boys then tell their parent who that girl is who they want to get married to..And then the father of the boy gives the village of that girl a grand visit with the mukhia' of his clan...

He reaches the "manda ghara" and talks to the village leaders..then the father of the girl is called for..They have a talk about the feasibility of the marriage and the consent of the girl is asked for..if she says yes they do a "horoscope match" which is a bit out of the way..They place three grains of rice in a triangle and cover it with a mud pot..the next day if it is as it is, they are sure the marriage is good for the couple..( i have this nagging feeling the girl would change it with the help of someone if she didn't like the guy..}..

Anyways..after that, a dowry is worked out..which is reverse..the guys family pays to the entire village of the girl..the dates are fixed..and in the meanwhile the boy and girl together build their home..after the home is built they get married..The boy's family and the girl's total village give them whatever is required to start a family including pots, pans, money, rice, everything...

That's the beautiful part..Now with bans on marketing of forest produces, limited and curtailed rights on forests, timber a total no-no(which i totally support), they have now reduced avenues for income. Even agriculture requires skills which they do not have..Having lived a life of fun , frolic and less hard work, they now find it difficult to adjust to the ways of the world..There are times in the years , all they have for food is Rice and salt..and for some weeks, not even that..They buy rice and divide it in two parts.They boil one half and drink the water or the carbohydrate rich "mand". The next day, they keep it out to dry and boil the other half..this goes on till the rice water is no more milky and thick and that's the day they eat the rice..

May sound like a story to you..i myself wouldn't have believed it if i hadn't seen it myself..

The reason this post was written in the first place is that we run a school for 150 girl children of that community. The female litercay is less than 2 %. I went to live with them. There are no concrete or black top roads to the village, there is no water supply, no electricity and yes, no bathrooms or toilets..You hve to get water from a tube well which is 500 meters off..(thankfully, Rotary International has decided to build a tube well in our school and toilet's will be constructed soon after the water problem is solved).

This place gave me back my perspective yet again.Sometimes, when work becomes monotonous and nothing makes sense, and it becomes easy to lose hope. These people, with there woes and yet such happy smiles and small happinesses make everything worthwhile... and make you appreciate what youhave. But, that's another part of my story.

The sensex crossed 20K and maybe it'll break a few more records in the coming days..When it's so easy to get lost in India rising and India shining , it helps to do a reality check.

Footnote: Right to food is one of the basic human rights of a man.

There is so much of buffer stock of grains in our country that it'll feed an entire generation for 10 years. Still, people go hungry every day in our country. There was a time when out country didn't have godowns to keep the grains and next year a report was presented which showed that 30% of the stocks had been eaten away by rodents. What a waste. They could've looked into the stomachs of people to store it.We live in a country where the sensex is doing some great upward moves and presenting a shining picture to the world..but the reality is something totally different. If you don't agree with me, you can run your eyes over the pavements, the streets and the slums coming up every part of the country.

NB: I'm an eternal optimist. I think the things will change. But i also think it's we who have to start that change.

The Tolerant Indians

A few days ago, one of my friends asked me about my views on tolerance.He said he had read about it first in "The Argumentative Indian", He told me he'll send me the book. As he still hasn't and i still haven't actually read the book , i wanted to write about it....In my answer to him i'd said,

"My take on intolerance wud not really be tolerable to many with those intolerance...Because as i said earlier, i never try to impose my thoughts on anyone..What would those so called" intolerant people" have to say or react on my views on them??And maybe my heights or limits of intolerance maybe someone else's base..I make my own perceptions and live according to them and probably wudn't change them for the world except if it was for someone i deeply cared about.."They" will be what they are..And perfectly within there rights to do it.. I might say"they" shouldn't have/must not react to Gere- Shilpa/MFH..But i think if they knew it was my point of view, they wud only sneer and be a little more intolerant towards me and some other people too..Isn't it something like asking a psycho not be one??...But again maybe intolerance in some teaches tolerance to others..because as a spectator you se the absurdity of it whole....So why try to make a point on issues i can do nothing about?? I can only talk of myself and increase my levels of tolerance... ".

But that was before a few days...before the gujjars in Rajasthan started their demands to be included in schedule, before clashes happened for the "Sacha Sauda" in Punjab, before Nandigram,Before a bomb went off in one of the largest gathering Praying in Jama Masjid in Hyderabad, before the sudden chaos that gripped our country where no state has been left in peace .....

Why did that happen??Are we really turning into an intolerant lot??Didn't the Mahtama teach us Non-Violence? Didn't he teach us the lesson of tolerance and patience..Didn't he give us the pride of calling ourselves Indians? The country he gave us just based on his war of non-violence and tolerance..Why have we forgotton the great Mahatma, who we call the father of the nation and still don't know why..Why have we forgotten the rich heritage of India..Why are we turning into such an intolerant lot?Is it the education or is it the politics??Is it the media?Is it that we don't have any good ideals in India anymore??Is it because one of the greatest presidents India has had, magnificient in his lethal combination of intelligence, compassion and humility, is sacrified because he denies playing into the hands of politicians??Is it because the UPA and Mayawati play symbiotic blackmail to save each others necks??Is it because our leader are based from jail?Why didn't the politicians do something to stop the initial act itself and nothing to stop the carnage that followed??When Pakistan was at the verge of a civil war over the CJ issue, when the begums of Bangladesh are either trying to save their lives in prison or go on an exile, when Sri Lanka is again gripped with the Tamil Guirellas declaring an open war.....I still thought maybe We'll never be touched by that..Our neighbours fights will teach us how much better it is to find solutions rather than violence....

But can we expect that from our people??...The collective role of politicians, media and education..It is getting so disillusioning..Are they not forgetting what politics is about? Is the education getting too technical??Is morality obsolete?Is media too taken up with frivolity to notice the bigger picture??What is going wrong and where? Nobody can deny that it is going wrong..

So ..what??where?? But we are not Pakistan under a military rule, We are absolutely not Bangladesh, We are not yet Sri Lanka..But the way the things are poised, people's tolerance is wearing thin and maybe, if things go on in the same vein , so would mine...

(This article was written before five months, and presently we have added many more such incedents to the list. The blasts in Hyderabad, the bombs going off every other day at different places firing communal tension..Have we then, run out of tolerance??and doesn't it make you wander if there's some propaganda somewhere to break the country which has stood the test of time and such turbulence since a long long time??

i have extreme faith in "us"..Let's start thinking afresh..and this time..let's please think of the India 50 years hence, rather than stick to our present and fighting about something as petty as religion.As the famous lines go.."Mazhab nahin sikhata, aapas mein bair rakhna".)