I live by my gut feelings and intuitions. And this year i really have a good feeling about it.
Last year started on the wrong foot and the whole year was a follow up on that.
On the political front , it was literally bang bang bang..from Kashmir to Ram Sethu, from Gujjars of Rajasthan and Gujjus of Modi's Gujurat to burning Mizoram and tense Guwahati, from twin blasts in Lucknow and Hyderabad to the Nondigram and Prashant Tamang. The last audible bang was with which went forever one of the most charismatic women leaders of this era. I realised in the game of politics, the game is more important for the powerful, the powerless and the powers that were than running a polity itself. I realised the US can play the big bully till the moment we gather the guts to fight it. That also needs courage and conviction which somehow has become as rare as the white gibbon but soon can become a dodo if we don't start looking for it now.But no one had in their dreams imagined India and somewhat China, the market-led-capitalist communist country , if there was any, go shooting in the international arena, past all speculations and predictions of the "futurists". Didn't the sensex have a bull-run past all expectations?But we still had the stories of poverty and unemployment, but that was totally behind the scenes. Until we realise that our concepts of development need to change, you know where we can all end up.
On the other fronts, i lost that unflinching devotion to the Big B and SLB. There was the break up of Shahid-Kareena which made me sad because they made such a great pair and surprise hits in "Jab We Met" (just to rub in the irony, i guess) and "Chak De" and not-so-surprising flop in Sad-wariya. I realised we have some very good copy cats and the originals are only appreciated after they shun appreciation of all kinds. Also a few had imagined India , the written-off underdogs to be the world-champs in the fast food form of cricket.I still remember my friends' incredulity who had put up a bet where i was the only one scooting for India. The 'Chak De India" factor went beyond cricket for a change and hockey and footfall with sprinkles of tennis, chess,shooting and badminton thrown in, had their fare share at the India's hall of fame.
On the homestead there were blasts of a different kind. My family didn't give me a moment's peace and the only thing on their agenda was to see me married and sent off to that unknown land- lock, stock and god knows how many smoking and fuming barrels..Thankfully, i evaded all those. But just about it.
On the professional front, we overcame a lot of hurdles, some which we had anticipated and some just materialised at the most unlikely of places. We also graduated from the small hut which we were running as a school to our own building.We changed the entire look and feel of the office and shifted our strategy and involvement to more of lobby and advocacy and increased importance on the basic human rights.We started a lot of projects and wound up a few more..Eventful and still going strong.I became much more laid back and a stronger person.
On my personal front, it was mayhem as well. I consciously took a lot of decisions which hurt me initially but on the hindsight, i'm proud to have made them. I cut the threads of a lot of connections which had become umbilical. The severing was painful and yet very necessary for life to go on. I learned a few lessons and revised some more. I realised that my family is very important to me and i can be a lioness with her cubs when it comes to them. I realised i can do my best to make a relationship work and bear the hurt and pain to the point impossible. But once i call it quits there is no looking back. Don't know what kind that makes me but i am not bothered about it as you know, more confident than i already was, more a loner than ever. A lot happier and a shape of the road just visible. And the road was never very important for me , neither is it now. My god played elusive too or maybe it was me. The journey still continues and deep inside, i'm still questioning a lot of things in me and my world..i realised the only constant variable in life is change.
And another year on the calender has changed.
Another thing that has changed is my feeling about it. I really feel good. My instincts tell me this will be a good year. For all of us.
Have a great year ahead..
and once more..Make a difference, be the change and lead by example..The best of everything for everyone.
