Many a words have been written about the wives. Jokes swarm all over about how you fool your wife and statistics galore on being henpecked and nagging. In fact my husband was telling me today that a study says wives nag their husbands 2000 mins a year on average. Thats 2000/ 60 = 30 hours = 1. 38 days in a year..Me being a student of statistics and knowing how these stats are created am the first to say, this is an outright understatement. i nag my husband more than that in 2 days. The reason is simple.
If you have/had a husband or are/were a husband you will relate to a lot of things and if you still haven't "tied the knot" steer clear away. This blog may cause extreme allergy to marriage.
Let me state at the beginning, i absolutely love my husband. The truth is i would love him even if he was not a husband. And no one, absolutely no one, including myself is counting on my staying married for long either.
As we were going by statistics, i'll give you a fairly good and accurate analysis based on my own unscientific study. I know many husbands you see. I have one, my mom has one, the husbands of all my aunties on maternal and paternal sides, my friends, relatives, acquaintances they form my database.
according to the legend, they are the bread earners, the pillars on which families stand, their voice is every one's command. Case in Point : Shri Ramchandra who shooed his wife away when she was pregnant with twins, the Satyawan who wasn't even good enough to get a good pile of wood and leave alone save his family and empire which savitri practically wrenched out of yama with just her intelligence..and did i mention the 5 husbands of draupadi who put their wife on bet? my choicest swear words to all of them.
They talk smoothest before you've said yes to their proposal, become smooth after the confirmation but after marriage it's a "non- 7'o'clock shave" ride..remember the behe behe ads??...after the wedding you have to shed a few buckets from the viscinity of your nose and eyes to get a single word of love out of them. Banging phones and screaming are common though. The football matches, cricket matches, repeats on discovery, idiotic irritating news on Aaj Tak and the types get more of their eye balls per day than you in a month. Holidays are only for them. Wives have no days off.
Let's look at some other inherent traits. This species can be identified by their extreme arrogance as if their just being a husband qualifies them to bully, make fun and override all emotions, expectations and feelings. The common ones are: never waking up till you've served them tea, the newspaper is his private property, to be read and scattered from the bed to the toilet to anyplace he deigns to tread, flushing after crapping is as alien to him as acting is to vivek oberoi. Leaving wet towel on the bed is his birthright. Lying to your wife is taught to him in secret societies whose secrets are known only to men.
They usually forget dates, anniversaries and sometimes they just act that they have. It saves them the time and energy to buy a present. But don't be fooled. They still gift you some really magnanimous things (the things that you never asked for in the first place): they will say they have given up on smoking/drinking/footfall/
They have hugely delicate sensibilities that are exactly opposite of their wives'. They are permanently in a fight so if they have broken any promise remember it's just out of spite and they never even wanted to break their promises, you just pushed them to the brink. It's your fault.
Women being women will catch their lies within a blink of an eye but you know what, he would have those friends to cover up and who'll tell you he's such a wonderfully changed man after marriage and his lying has decreased to 2 in a day and smoking to 1.Don't believe them. The friendships are based on the mutual pact to cover up each others' asses whenever they get caught
Absolutely 99.99 of husbands , irrespective of caste, creed, race, religion or region hate small kids. You would have heard the jokes how they hate women who go coochie cooh on small kids. They do not want kids of their own, not the small, crying, wriggly ones.Kids are allowed only if they come perfectly behaved, standing on their two feet and toilet trained. No wonder their fathers hate them.
My apologies to all wives for the things i left out but you're welcome to fill the blank spaces. My sincere apologies to my husband whose very delicate sensibilities will surely be hurt, but that was my design anyway.
Like every woman i too believe my husband's an exception. But they don't call a woman an emotional fool for naught. And i'm sure you won't be fooled by the stats. Women know the best what happens when men are on top. Go ahead. Keep nagging. That's the only way you'll get some satisfaction.
