Back to my childhood...

If you aren't from my school don't read further..most of it won't make any sense.. and then again..maybe it will..

And here it is for all the students of our school..

This was the longest time i was away from school..

Almost a year and a half.. and going back to the school you studied in, meeting the teachers who taught you your first lessons in life and re-living those moments is a feeling no words can aptly describe..

i started late because i was scared to meet the traffic..you know the roads..but i guess the powers above intervened because thankfully there wasn't any..but the roads are another story altogether..there are none..It is only a poor caricature of what it was and what it should be..NH-215 indeed..Don't really know if the government will ever realise how badly people are affected by the condition of the roads and the traffic that's brought the best school in Orissa on almost the verge of closing down..

From the moment i decided that i would go to school, every moment was nostalgic..the 20 kilometers to our school brought back memories of thousands of such days when we travelled to school..Some familiar landmarks are there no more and some new have cropped up..Yes..those hills are there to which we went trekking..those dark looming hills of magnetite sent me back dreaming of the races we had for the top..So much has changed..and some things..they're still the same..Just that now the race is different..

As i reached the 19 km milestone, it was again that feeling of deja-vu..the familiar eucalyptus trees..the canopy of the classrooms just about visible as if through a windscreen..And all of a sudden there it was..The board which said "GREENFIELD SCHOOL, PALASPANGA"..i totally forgot about those pictures i was supposed to click for all of you..but just in time..

I entered the school gate..yet again..and my eyes flooded with memories of the many other times i had already done so..with the uniform and pigtails..and mischief in every step..those days of carelessness, those moments of feeling just nothing..when the biggest problem was that you hadn't done your homework again and had forgotten to cut your nails..

When you enter school the first thing you see is Principal Sir's office..which we called the "Lion's Den"..and undoubtedly..that was where i first went..it seems funny after all those years but even today when i entered his office, it was the same sense of dread..as if i'll get scolded again for not being serious about my studies..and wasting my talent...

'May i come in Sir?"..and i opened the door..there he was..with his trademark smile..and "arre..beta..come come..."And Principal Sir, the same sweet teacher, who was more like a friend and a father for all of us..With him we could share all our woes and find guidance whenever we needed it..And then we talked ..about everything under the sky..from enquiring about families to condition of roads to the teachers to old students..and his recent visit to his old school as Benaras..Yes..with my present state of mind, i could completely relate to what he would have felt..

I finally let him in into our plans about the first ever alumni meet of our school..i told him about the e-group that we have..and that i wanted to talk to the students and see what they thought about it..And the sweet person that he is, he told me to go off and meet everyone...

Incidentally the classrooms have changed..so the first class i entered turned out to be tenth standard..(i just had to stop myself from writing FG X-"Family Group-X"..yes, we were all a big family there)..Ahem..Xth-All those solemn looking faces and specs gave them away..and guess who was there in the class??- Suvendu sir..He's put on some weight..but looked very tired..i talked to the students and told hem about the alumni meet that we're planning..They all were quite taken up by the idea..So i gave them my number, shared the ideas we have about it, asked them to sit over it and tell me about their plans..

The next room was the room which had been our class during the last two years in school..i remember every nook and corner of the room..three sides surrounded by eucalyptus trees..and the other two sides facing the main structure of the school..Those large arched windows and doors..That blackboard..that class bulletin at the back..{those benches and desks..those have changed though..}

..and just then the bell rang and it was the lunch break..and the children swarmed out of their classes with their lunch boxes..Most looked at me with apprehensive eyes..what else do you expect when they see someone standing in the middle of the lawn with a camera in hand, looking at the school with that 'lost' look..most of the kids weren't even born when i left school..but everyone seemed to know.."kusum didi.."and most sentences started with.."oh..you are Kusum didi??"..i won't say i wasn't flattered..but i felt more queasy in my toes..the teachers had had so much of expectation from me..they still have..they all had loved me so unconditionally..i had been a favourite with everyone..but i always believed that was more because they all were my favourites..And to realise they still talked about me to the students and i was a drifter still made me feel as if i had slid down on their scales of love and expectation..

Lunch break - good..so i could meet everyone in the staff room..

As i entered i hoped it had been otherwise..talking to everyone at a time would be chaotic..and it was..everyone was talking at once..and i'm sure i was blabbering back which didn't make any sense either..There were Arun sir, Sashmita maam, Rita Maam, Sushant sir, Nimi Maam, Yashoda Maam, Usha maam, Suvendu Sir, Sandhya Maam, Sheela Maam, Pooja Maam, Shipra maam..and a new teacher..in the harrum scarrum i forgot to ask her name..We talked about so many things including the problems they are facing, the times we had, and my weight..the last part figured at the maximum frequency...they tried telling me i was looking good but i know that was only a face saver after seeing that mortally hurt expression on my face..To tell you the truth i would have loved to spend some more time with all of them..indiviadually..every teacher has there own special place in my heart..

I then called in students of eighth and ninth and talked..we just talked..about the alumni meet and our plans regarding that...They reminded me of myself..about 10 years younger though..and we had loads of fun..we talked about a lot f things and mostly their dreams.. i told them about all past students who keep missing school..who have asked me to narrate every moment i spend at school in detail..i told them how the alumni are in every field and profession they can think off..and some they can't..No Tanveer..i didn't really expect you to open a gym and sport a six pack or was that an eight???

And finally i put the ball in their court and have asked them to fix a date in mid January..So you guys know when you have to book your tickets..Specially those in China, US, NY, LA, Tennessee,Korea, Africa, London, and god know where Rutuparna presently is..

It was already time for my meeting..so i had to rush off..I made a trip to the art class and i felt a tad sad..the walls were stripped off..the Madhubanis and water colours we had painstakingly created were not there..probably they are already torn or maybe taken down for restructuring..i don't know..Didn't even ask Gauda Sir..He was himself..that typical Gouda Sir smile..I met Surendra sir just as i was rushing off..he has lost even more weight if that was possible..he gave me one of his best toothy smiles..Wish i had talked to him a bit more..Someday..someday..

The library looked very different too..it has been reconstructed to accommodate more number of children but i loved the library of our times..That cosy room with books lined up on every wall from floor to roof..those wooden racks where i knew the position of every book that entered it..those dark green curtains..those matted floors..that soft light filtering through in winter afternoons..that musty bookish smell..i remembered every bit of it and tried to find that smell in the present library...the black board in the assembly, those wall magazines..But there were a lot of things missing..i missed a lot of teachers too..Mukherjee maam, Mishra Maam, Sharma sir, (Prem sir, Panchali Maam and Stan sir who had left when we were still in school..), Kamlesh Sir, Kalpana maam,Pankaj Sir..But Raju bhai and Mukesh Bhai were there..the bell rings ensured that.. and the students were a charm..they gave me back a part of me..

..even though i left the school because it was getting late i knew my heart was still stuck there..somehow i know a part of me will always be there and my school will be a part of me always..even after no one recognises me anymore..even after i have moved miles away..A part of me will still smile when it sees an eucalyptus tree..or any pentagon structure with slanting roof anywhere in the world..and will be lost in that special time called childhood....

The War inside!!!

Today, on my way back from my field tour, as the sun went down and the world got engulfed in darkness, it got me thinking yet again on something that has been plaguing me since some time..

Happiness and sadness..Good and bad..light and darkness..all the things that have a duality in existence..

Does the absence of one thing mean the presence of another automatically? If there is an absence of light does that mean darkness is present? Or is it something else? Isn't darkness a non-entity? There's nothing that is darkness..it happens because there is no light.. Can there be darkness where there is light?

Noise and Silence: Is silence an entity in itself? Isn't it a phenomena that happens because there is an absense of noise? We can induce noise but can we induce silence? Do we not have to take away the noise to instill silence?

On the other hand can we say that happiness exists when there is absence of sadness?
It isn't really true, is it?Absence of happiness doesn't make a person sad or vice-versa.

Why is a person happy? Why another sad? We say that it is the different facet of the same coin. You get what you need and you are happy. Your need remains unsatisfied, you're sad. Who defines the need? For some it is power, for some money, for some it's love, for some just some other need.

Who decides what is good and bad? You say there is inherent and universal goodness and positivity which is accepted by everyone..ok..so why do we not follow the heart? Why so much of lies and hypocrisy and deceit? Why hiding behind a facade that isn't the reality? How do you say break the rules when the rules are the result of a society?Which of the rules are meant to be broken and which are not? We are pretty sure breaking traffic rules at peak hour isn't a very intelligent thing to do, is it?

Who decides that killing a man at the border makes you a hero and killing someone on the streets because he's violated you in some way make you a murderer? Who decides that a physical relationship before marriage is the ugliest thing to do and after the official sanctioning of a mangalsutra it's the way of life? Who decides that living in a palatial house and wearing Armani is materialistic and living in the pavement and going without food which is more of a compulsion than a choice , is not? Why loving someone is good but owning it is bad? Why feeling sad is good but shedding tears is unmanly(Or womanly???).

i have no answers..muddled thoughts and a direction..i do not know if i'll find my answers..

Maybe, i'll know when it's time..

India Rising???

I owe this to my friends..all those who have hummed and hawed because i've been out of touch with almost everyone.It's just one of my phases when i needed to get in touch with a very important person in my life-myself.But more on that some other time in some other age..Those who know me won't ask..and those who don't , don't need it anyways...

We have a school for Juanga girls with 150 children studying in it. Juanga is a PTG or a primitive tribal group, one of the 75 odd identified by the Government in India. They are generally defined by a declining population, low literacy rates, traditional ways of living, dependence of minor forest produces as a source of livelihood, non dependence on agriculture as a source of income..You can clearly imagine them..Yes..they live in the remotest of areas..in midst of jungles..have traditions that are lovely..

You know how they get married traditionally??Well..they'll put your disc parties to shame..Every year they have three major festivals..called "parab"..Once in winters, then in spring and then rains..which mostly coincides with sowing, ploughing and reaping of whatever "padu chasa" and "shifting cultivation" they do..These festivals run into weeks where groups of young people, men and women go to visit different clans..they have a specific number of clans and each clan has a mukhia or a leader. Each clan lives in it's own village and every village is again rule by a specific set of rules..There is a "manda ghara" or a central house(you can call it a club house if you will) and a fire burns in each of those manda ghara since they have resided there, come summer, winter or rain.It is the place where everyone sits down for a chat or important discussions or a simple game of 'bagha cheli"( Lion and Goat). Every house is a big one room where all the non-breastfeeding boys live..If you thought tribals usually have joint families..think again..They have very small nuclear families..in fact, as soon as the children stop feeding from their mothers, which would be till they are about four, the boys live in the "manda ghara" and the girls live with old women who have been widowed or living alone..Polyandry and polygamous marriages are not uncommon. Yes..going back to marriages..The groups visit each others' clan and some kind of initial wooing and matchmaking takes place in those nightlong dance and song sessions..The boys then tell their parent who that girl is who they want to get married to..And then the father of the boy gives the village of that girl a grand visit with the mukhia' of his clan...

He reaches the "manda ghara" and talks to the village leaders..then the father of the girl is called for..They have a talk about the feasibility of the marriage and the consent of the girl is asked for..if she says yes they do a "horoscope match" which is a bit out of the way..They place three grains of rice in a triangle and cover it with a mud pot..the next day if it is as it is, they are sure the marriage is good for the couple..( i have this nagging feeling the girl would change it with the help of someone if she didn't like the guy..}..

Anyways..after that, a dowry is worked out..which is reverse..the guys family pays to the entire village of the girl..the dates are fixed..and in the meanwhile the boy and girl together build their home..after the home is built they get married..The boy's family and the girl's total village give them whatever is required to start a family including pots, pans, money, rice, everything...

That's the beautiful part..Now with bans on marketing of forest produces, limited and curtailed rights on forests, timber a total no-no(which i totally support), they have now reduced avenues for income. Even agriculture requires skills which they do not have..Having lived a life of fun , frolic and less hard work, they now find it difficult to adjust to the ways of the world..There are times in the years , all they have for food is Rice and salt..and for some weeks, not even that..They buy rice and divide it in two parts.They boil one half and drink the water or the carbohydrate rich "mand". The next day, they keep it out to dry and boil the other half..this goes on till the rice water is no more milky and thick and that's the day they eat the rice..

May sound like a story to you..i myself wouldn't have believed it if i hadn't seen it myself..

The reason this post was written in the first place is that we run a school for 150 girl children of that community. The female litercay is less than 2 %. I went to live with them. There are no concrete or black top roads to the village, there is no water supply, no electricity and yes, no bathrooms or toilets..You hve to get water from a tube well which is 500 meters off..(thankfully, Rotary International has decided to build a tube well in our school and toilet's will be constructed soon after the water problem is solved).

This place gave me back my perspective yet again.Sometimes, when work becomes monotonous and nothing makes sense, and it becomes easy to lose hope. These people, with there woes and yet such happy smiles and small happinesses make everything worthwhile... and make you appreciate what youhave. But, that's another part of my story.

The sensex crossed 20K and maybe it'll break a few more records in the coming days..When it's so easy to get lost in India rising and India shining , it helps to do a reality check.

Footnote: Right to food is one of the basic human rights of a man.

There is so much of buffer stock of grains in our country that it'll feed an entire generation for 10 years. Still, people go hungry every day in our country. There was a time when out country didn't have godowns to keep the grains and next year a report was presented which showed that 30% of the stocks had been eaten away by rodents. What a waste. They could've looked into the stomachs of people to store it.We live in a country where the sensex is doing some great upward moves and presenting a shining picture to the world..but the reality is something totally different. If you don't agree with me, you can run your eyes over the pavements, the streets and the slums coming up every part of the country.

NB: I'm an eternal optimist. I think the things will change. But i also think it's we who have to start that change.

You there

Life..The search for it's meaning..What is it?? Why is it??Is there a duality in everything or do i see it that way?

The Hindu philosophy of Karma, of birth and re-birth, of acquired "phala" or "sanskara" ..on one hand where we are told that your "karma" or your deeds will give you results , the good karma- good results and vice versa..and on the other you're asked not to think about the results. Buddha said, "desire is the the base of all evils"..But is it really possible to live without desire? And i don't mean the desire in a materialistic sort of way..A want for "nirvana" or "salvation"..of doing good deeds because you strive for ultimate happiness and freedom from the "kala chakras" or births and re-births..isn't that a desire too?

The Buddhist philosophy of "shunyata" or whatever you do has effect on everyone.Every thing is connected is some way..So what you do here has a rippling effect on everyone else..

The ancient philosophy where there is duality of existence- of good and evil..of death and birth , of man and woman..where it is believed that everything has to be in balance..

What is it that i believe? And why? It is so easy to believe in something and create the conviction and arguments to support it..But why, i digress??

Is there something which is the pure truth? Belief in God for instance. Yes, i believe in god..But i do not know the nature of God..i do not know the gender..i do not know if calling God a 'she' will make me a pagan..i do not know calling god "him" makes any sense either.. i do not know who it is i believe in..who it is that runs the world and the actions therein..does he really guide us in everything we do? Or is god "sthula' or 'dormant' looking at everything with detachment..

Detachment-Yes that's another word that keeps cropping up. We are told it is all Maya. If this is maya why has god created it? If we are asked to be detached, shouldn't attachment of all kinds be bad including the attachment to god?

If the ultimate truth is to love unconditionally, to accept, to be sympathetic, why are these very things almost always brushed under the carpet? Why is it shameful to cry? Why is it "weakness" to show your love? Why do people run from the word "commitment"? Why are they scared to show that they "love"?

i really have tried finding a bad man in my life..but i'm still to find one..Every person in my life has had so much of goodness in them..Yes..some have been confused...and have had their own way of looking at life..but does that make them bad or any person good?? Who in the world wants and strives to be bad??

i do not know..i have too many questions..in the meanwhile i'm branded as a being too Utopian, too vulnerable, to open to hurt and have some fiercely protective people around..

as if they can save me from my share of hurt..as if they have any say in what i do..as if i'll ever change..i love the way my life is..i love the hurt and pain i've gone through because that is what has made me what i am..i wouldn't ever change any part of my life because every moment has been a lesson..

yes i've had scars..but i'm very proud of them..

Maybe this post does not make sense..but that's because a lot of things don't actually make sense..we still run after the things materialistic because that's what we've been told is the best even though we all know we'll finally be a part of the water, earth, sky, fire and ether depending on the way we are cremated..We fear losing things we hold close even though we know nothing's permanent..

That's Maya??

And what isn't?

1000 reasons to get married...

Looks like there's only one thing there's left to do in my life!!

Get MARRIED!!

Get married!!!???For the sake of whoever's up there!!!...Am i looking that desperate or good-for-nothing or ..well..desperate's the right word again..

All moms and Dads..Please don't take offense..none is meant..But i'm freaking scared of going anywhere now..Anywhere i go i'm asked one question in million different ways.."So, when are you tying the knot?" "To tum ek se do kab ho rahi ho"{wasn't marriage supposed to be other way round?}, "When is the party?"...It's freaking..really..

Last week i went to the mall..And there were those lovely clothes for kids..nowadays they have such beautiful collection for the kids you feel like becoming one..and i was looking at those with wistful eyes..and guess what i get to hear from my family..Yeah..you guessed right..

I usually don't go to weddings..i don't like the stuffy feeling and plastic smiles..i run away from those at the speed of light unless it's someone close "tying the knot"..So i went to this cousin's wedding who incidentally is younger to me...right from the moment i stepped in the Mandapam till the moment i came out..oh yes..the same question..

"You're looking beautiful..it is because it's your age to get married..".

"This Saree is nice..Why did you wear it..you should keep atleast a hunndred new sarees for your wedding.."

"Oh Lord, The rates of gold have sky-rocketed..we should have bought some more jewellery last month"

Ouch. As if i'll ever wear the jewellery already enough to adorn two showrooms..As if i've nothing better to do than buy sarees for my wedding..As if getting married is the only reason i was born on this earth for..

My mom blackmailed me into making copies of my photographs and my bio-data with horoscope..thee are so many copies, i'm sure i could easily have printed pamphlets and saved on the bulk order..i also opened an id on bharatmatrimony..and guess what??my mailbox is flooded with mails and i've finally spammed it..

It's difficult being a woman,i tell you..it is..i never thought i would say this..but i am..Looks like finding your soulmate figures nowhere in the 1000 reasons to get married...

Clash of the Titans!!!

Between the clash of my two most favourite people in sports, Federer defeated Pete Sampras in an exhibition match..Well Roger, even if it was a straight sets defeat for your opponent, he did give you a run for your points..not to forget, he's been retired almost 6 years..and definitely out of practice!!

Love you both..

Rafel, you can wait for another decade for that top slot..But again, you aren't half as bad either..

Suspended Animation!!

There it goes, out of the window..my resolution not to write about the politicians..

But these guys are such great entertainers.. Try as you might, can't really ignore them..They just love hogging the limelight..And in what ways..

B.S. Yeddyurappa resigned..finally..after a week in power..with all hullaboo of being the first BJP Chief Minister of any south indian state..

The hanging balance with a pact of 20 months power sharing has been doing some drastically amusing see-saw movement the last three weeks providing some great entertainment to the countrymen..Deve Gowda has suddenly woken up from his slumber (no pun intended) with sudden rise in patriotism towards Karnataka, which has been facing some real problems in governace and administration under his rule..Let's not even think about the Karnataka being on the top three list of highest concentration of farmer suicides. Now, he has suddenly opened eyes towards a 'secularist state' and even if you try to close your eyes to it, can't really ignore who his sleeping partner (no pun again) was for the last 20 months..

A quick flashback: No single party majority in the last elections(2004) -> BJP single largest party -> every party talks to every one else as well as against -> an unlikely duo of JD(S) and BJP coalition with a pact of 20 months power sharing -> JD(S) takes over first as the first stake is theirs in the mutual blackmail -> 20 months over -> party over -> JD(S) pulls out -> national drama -> reunites and BJP does the victory dance -> Deve Gouda re-awakens with an MoU which prove to be the divorce papers -> final "Talaaq"(hopefully).

Suspended animation!!!

Animated suspension..President's rule , re-election or another coalition..These people have lost it..completely..

Can you guys,the politicians i mean, please realise, we are all watching you..And this isn't, i repeat, isn't "The Great Indian Stand-up Comedy Show".

Footnote: Keep your eyes open as the drama unfolds..Gets me thinking why we have failed to create alternative options in politics anywhere in India, Be it Narendra Modi in Gujarat, CPI(M) in WB or be it Mr Naveen Patnaik in my state.

Moment

The different shades
catch the light and change the hues
yet again
and yet again you're caught
in a whirlwind
and a changed direction

moment flies
you hold on
only time passes you by
with its merciless laughter
looking into your hands
you find
there's nothing to hold

life

things change..
people move on..
and life..
it goes on...

To be politically correct

i really didn't want to write about politicians in my blog because they get their due from thousands already.

This is just for a show of solidarity to all bloggers out there fighting a silent battle through their mighty words and writey pens..

Sometime back, i had written about mutual blackmail in political throes..Now, we see the implications , from Islamabad to India, from Nondigram to US, Baghdad to Cuba. The shamelessness jangles my dear and the reverberations are heard in every brain worth it's grey cells.

See the pattern?

Nuke deal and Godhra...Saddam to Imran, Mush to Bush, the hypocrisy shines through more than those shiny bald heads hidden beneath the supreme white "Gandhi topis", turbans, caps and hats!!.

I would laugh at the joke my dear politicians if it wasn't for the lives of people you are playing with..

Footnote: Headlines on all channels went, "Left goes soft on Nuke deal". Wonder why that sounds 'oh-so-predictable' after the Nondigram issue.On the other side of the fence, "Bhutto taken off from house arrest".Propaganda? Nah! That's politics!!!

My Soulmate

"The search for my soulmate..so many years, so many lifetimes..my soulmate since before the universe..till later than eternity..my perfect man..my perfect friend..without him the world is worthless..and with him by me, all rags are riches..

The committment to accept, nothing to forget, absolutely nothing to forgive..the confidence that each can build the other from nothing and the knowledge that each can destroy the other too, yet love and cherish each other..always..

Together we can create a world of everything we desire, the desire just to love..The happinees of being because my soulmate is..the electricity of looking at you..the voltage of loving you...yesterday, today and every tomorrow..

i wait for you my soulmate..without you everything is incomplete.."

{this i wrote long back and thought of posting it because it still holds true..}

The Prayer

oh God, if you exist
this is my prayer to you

give me the strength to go on
even after i think i can't
show me the way when darkness blinds
and let the blindness never be inside

hold my hand when i get too lonely
bequest me the poise to stand alone
let me not be lost in pretentions
and ever be obscured in a charade

let me always feel the sorrows
i need not happiness
which is based on others woes

let me not find fault outside me
for the biggest folly is the one inside
let me not be lost in a mirage
and bestow the courage to face the truth

i know , to hate is easy
but show me that to love is easier

show me the way when darkness shrouds
and the ray behind the darkest clouds
confer the fortitude to tame the tears
and the sensitivity not ever to be the cause

let me change, and only for better
but not alter when in truth.

i want to go to school too father

i want to go to school too father
you, a girl? why,
you dream too high
what need of school for you?

am i not a child father?
is school not for me?
don't i need my lessons in life

what lessons girl?
isn't the home school enough?
isn't your mother the best teacher?
doesn't the forest you pick firewood from
teach you the lessons you need?
they don't teach cooking
or washing utensils and clothes
or tending the cattle
or working in the fields

and who will look after the younger children
when your mother is working and i'm not home
who will cook and feed?
who do you think will get the fodder
and pick the mahua when season has come

school isn't for you girl
go, see your brother cries.


Footnote: According to census 2001 52.2% of the women are still iliterate in India.

The children of the street!!!

A few days back i made a stop near the local market because i had a pick a few things up. As i was waiting for the driver three little children showed up. You would have seen the type sometime in your life if you live anywhere in India. They have dirtied torn clothes and faces which are difficult to tell apart and those simply magnetic and pitiful innocent eyes. They won't speak a word and the only thing they know is to outstretch their hands, begging for alms. They won't leave you alone until you either give them money of dirty looks or both.

Now, we work with child labourers and street children. We run three schools with 50 children each in the district at three places, Joda, Keonjhar and Banspal. We also have 20 Non-formal education centres in 20 slums where non-school going and drop-outs are taught in play-learn methods and gradually enrolled into regular schools with periodic monitoring to stem the drop-out. We also worked with 700 such children and their parents in the past where we gave importance on the capacity building of the parents, sensitization, micro-enterprise development and decreasing the work hours of the children alongwith compulsory education.

That was just a background and besides the point. That's what makes me think about those children a bit closer from a different perspective or maybe vice-versa.

I asked them what they would do with the money (there were two girls aged anything between 6-8 and a boy who was maybe about 10-11). First they kept quiet looking at me with those idiotically sweet eyes and nudging at me. Then after i gave them one of my best smiles and sat with them they finally relented. They said they hadn't had anything to eat since the morning and they would get something to eat. Now, i usually don't give alms to able-bodied beggars and specially when they are children. But try as i could, i just couldn't ignore this. I asked a shopkeeper nearby to get three packets of some good biscuit or crackers. He told me, "Vini, let them be, they are all little devils". Little devils or not, i had to talk o them and there wasn't any other way. I asked them about their lives. They belonged to a nomadic tribe. At the risk of going off topic again, most nomadic tribes in India are not in any schedule, they are generally treated as "born criminals", they do not have most of the civil rights, they are denied the basic right to vote because they do not have a "permanent address", they cannot even open an account in any bank and lets forget the passport and other things that we all take so much for granted. As is obvious their children are not sent to any schools. You would argue, who would take them. I, partially agree. Yes, no one but that's because we still haven't thought about them or accepted that they are Indians too. They live like foreigners in their own land. They make those lovely idols with plaster and china clay which are worshipped in every Indian home, be it a Hindu, Christian, Buddhist or those tablets in a muslim household.. They give 'jadi booties' for a zillion ailments and before shitting those let's have a research on those traditional herbs and medicines.

Ok..back to the children. i gave them the biscuits and told them to eat it in front of me. They did so, very reluctantly. I promised myself to visit their families after i came back from a week of meetings at Bhubaneswar and would spend at least an hour with their children everyday. That was more selfish on my part. I wanted to know how the children adjusted to the nomadic lifestyles. I wanted to know how the kids felt being unwanted at every place they went. I wanted to know what was the normal life for these children. I wanted to know what the children thought of the only profession they had been taught since childhood -begging.

I reached here the night before the last. Yesterday was Diwali so stayed at home. I came early today so that i could spend some time with those children and their families.

Their tents are gone as are they.

My dreams of talking to them will get fulfilled someday. And meanwhile, thousands of such children are getting robbed of a childhood without the basic rights to health, education and shelter.

There are so many "only ifs" but none to drive away those innocent eyes that haunt you long after they gone...

Footnote: UN defines every child of 6-14 age group out of school as child labour.