Now a days i get irritated very soon and as is wont, have been wondering what it means..
As usual, i start by writing what irritates me and then i'll come back to read it in a few days time to understand what it means..pick up Freud, or ask one of my friends who's an expert on these..
Lies. The first irritant. I can't stand it when people lie to me. This normally brings up the question, do i not lie? Yes , i do. I'm no Gandhi ji but i've had my experiment with lies. I have lied and haven't been able to carry it. It has weighed on me like a thousand stones and somehow, discreetly or indiscreetly , i've ended up confessing. And somehow, lies put me off like nothing else. I feel let down, humiliated and mistrusted.After that point i feel like getting back to that person with a lie overload, but i never can.
Holier-than-thou attitude: Yeah. You are holy. Much holier than me. Thank you. I don't follow your religion. Thank You again.
Manipulation: Someone had once told me human beings by nature are manipulative. There's passive manipulative, aggressive manipulative, coercive manipulative, hurt party manipulative, the list goes on. Of all manipulations, the blatant, in your face, showing you my power and gloating over it manipulation takes the cake. The thing is you can't show them your middle finger even when that's all you want to do.
Taking advantage of the weak: Self explanatory. High irritant.
Blissfully ignorant: there is ignorant and there is ignorant. When people wear their ignorance on their sleeves like a medal and take absolutely no initiative towards changing that status, well, it does get on your nerves. They can argue and argue for hours, sighting their ignorance every other minute but the expression of tone and face belying every sentence. They take pride in their ignorance . I'd at least go back, research, study, understand and then come back and argue. Yes, even if my point was right.
I don't know the exact english term for those people. in odia, we call them "galua". They hit back at you with the strangest logic. If you tell them, you don't like something, they come back say, on such and such date and situation "you" did the same. Or maybe, "what the heck if i did it, only people make mistakes, or i'm no god", and turn around to repeat the mistake.Yeah you know those people. Somehow i always want to stay away from those kinds but sadly they always catch up. Always do.
Being woken up after i sleep.Eating alone.: Both not in this context, but highly irritating nonetheless.
Bad body odour, stinking mouths and uncleanliness: For obvious reasons. The worst kind is when people do it and feel it is bohemian and fashionable to be dirty. I've heard this from a few, that tigers don't brush their teeth and lions don't have a bath everyday. But neither do pigs and and the horrible smelling he-goats,( no offense to the animals, that's their way of life, just not mine. love them , so as not to hurt them, but can't surely stay with them.) but who wants to prove a point. I'm disgusted and that's it.
People who do not stand by their words: The worst kind. Never believe them, but if it's a person who's currently an indispensable part of your life, well, you've had it. They are manipulative, self destructive and take advantage of you because they know your weaknesses.And if it's your work space, woohoo, BINGO!
Being a part of an injustice. All those things i stood against. All those things i put up a fight for. And now, i become a silent spectator. A mute audience. With bile burning my insides, turning my food upside down. Sadistic. Masochistic.
I am angry is obvious. But what is the solution. I know i need "something". I know it's the dissatisfaction. But then i question myself. Why? I wasn't so dissatisfied in not so distant past. And i question, if this is the life i want.
Interpretation: There is a lot of clutter inside that needs cleaning up. I need control over people, things and situation which most times shall not be so. I am currently in company of people who are breaking my beliefs and preferences and it's shaking my established rules, which is resulting in the chaos.
Yes, i do understand all this. But i still question. Is this the life i bargained for?
