Now a days i get irritated very soon and as is wont, have been wondering what it means..
As usual, i start by writing what irritates me and then i'll come back to read it in a few days time to understand what it means..pick up Freud, or ask one of my friends who's an expert on these..
Lies. The first irritant. I can't stand it when people lie to me. This normally brings up the question, do i not lie? Yes , i do. I'm no Gandhi ji but i've had my experiment with lies. I have lied and haven't been able to carry it. It has weighed on me like a thousand stones and somehow, discreetly or indiscreetly , i've ended up confessing. And somehow, lies put me off like nothing else. I feel let down, humiliated and mistrusted.After that point i feel like getting back to that person with a lie overload, but i never can.
Holier-than-thou attitude: Yeah. You are holy. Much holier than me. Thank you. I don't follow your religion. Thank You again.
Manipulation: Someone had once told me human beings by nature are manipulative. There's passive manipulative, aggressive manipulative, coercive manipulative, hurt party manipulative, the list goes on. Of all manipulations, the blatant, in your face, showing you my power and gloating over it manipulation takes the cake. The thing is you can't show them your middle finger even when that's all you want to do.
Taking advantage of the weak: Self explanatory. High irritant.
Blissfully ignorant: there is ignorant and there is ignorant. When people wear their ignorance on their sleeves like a medal and take absolutely no initiative towards changing that status, well, it does get on your nerves. They can argue and argue for hours, sighting their ignorance every other minute but the expression of tone and face belying every sentence. They take pride in their ignorance . I'd at least go back, research, study, understand and then come back and argue. Yes, even if my point was right.
I don't know the exact english term for those people. in odia, we call them "galua". They hit back at you with the strangest logic. If you tell them, you don't like something, they come back say, on such and such date and situation "you" did the same. Or maybe, "what the heck if i did it, only people make mistakes, or i'm no god", and turn around to repeat the mistake.Yeah you know those people. Somehow i always want to stay away from those kinds but sadly they always catch up. Always do.
Being woken up after i sleep.Eating alone.: Both not in this context, but highly irritating nonetheless.
Bad body odour, stinking mouths and uncleanliness: For obvious reasons. The worst kind is when people do it and feel it is bohemian and fashionable to be dirty. I've heard this from a few, that tigers don't brush their teeth and lions don't have a bath everyday. But neither do pigs and and the horrible smelling he-goats,( no offense to the animals, that's their way of life, just not mine. love them , so as not to hurt them, but can't surely stay with them.) but who wants to prove a point. I'm disgusted and that's it.
People who do not stand by their words: The worst kind. Never believe them, but if it's a person who's currently an indispensable part of your life, well, you've had it. They are manipulative, self destructive and take advantage of you because they know your weaknesses.And if it's your work space, woohoo, BINGO!
Being a part of an injustice. All those things i stood against. All those things i put up a fight for. And now, i become a silent spectator. A mute audience. With bile burning my insides, turning my food upside down. Sadistic. Masochistic.
I am angry is obvious. But what is the solution. I know i need "something". I know it's the dissatisfaction. But then i question myself. Why? I wasn't so dissatisfied in not so distant past. And i question, if this is the life i want.
Interpretation: There is a lot of clutter inside that needs cleaning up. I need control over people, things and situation which most times shall not be so. I am currently in company of people who are breaking my beliefs and preferences and it's shaking my established rules, which is resulting in the chaos.
Yes, i do understand all this. But i still question. Is this the life i bargained for?
2 comments:
awesome!
this is like coming straight from ur heart.
I also get very very irritated with most of the things u stated. i just call this stuff 'behavior disorder'and stems for many reasons from childhood and varied experiences.
argument on this is of no use as in all these factors ego is the biggest player for an adult. Also a mindset that 'i know what i am doing or i am what i am or it does no harm or this is how i want it to be etc etc. Plenty of explanations.But this applies both ways haan..
it also depends on u. some people have excellent control over their senses. some lose it after a while, some dont have at all and drift away from such situations. but what is that u want to control!!!
the fact is that, which must be accepted that,we all are born and brought up in different ways and we all r unique. the best thing is to sometimes overlook and look at the good things. may be write a blog about all that make u happy...
have u heard of chaos theory...?
'control'- i feel is a more managerial term and we cannot control feelings, behaviors etc etc. we cannot control the human mind, psychology (until we are some siddh sadhu type)
so irritation is bound to happen and u should just let it happen and not ponder on it...when u ponder u make it that...may be just write it out and let it go.irritation is a small element of a big life that u have.
(and let me tell u gandhiji also lied...for good... he was also very manipulative etc etc...but its sad that ppl use these things for ulterior motives)
leave everything...lastly... life has no bargains..we do not and cannot bargain in life for anything. we can fret and forget, get and connect but we cannot bargain. But we can make it the way we want it to be. No doubt about that only if we are ready to give in.
Life is beautiful - remember...its all about the way u look at it.
but i liked what u wrote as u wrote like 'bindaas' and i hope u will not be irritated any more and just let it be ... its too trivial in a lifetime of love and good work..isnt it?
:)..You're right baby sis..
And it was rant and outright rant that needed to come out..so, it's done..and i hopefully shall be back to my usual happy self.. :)
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