The Tolerant Indians

A few days ago, one of my friends asked me about my views on tolerance.He said he had read about it first in "The Argumentative Indian", He told me he'll send me the book. As he still hasn't and i still haven't actually read the book , i wanted to write about it....In my answer to him i'd said,

"My take on intolerance wud not really be tolerable to many with those intolerance...Because as i said earlier, i never try to impose my thoughts on anyone..What would those so called" intolerant people" have to say or react on my views on them??And maybe my heights or limits of intolerance maybe someone else's base..I make my own perceptions and live according to them and probably wudn't change them for the world except if it was for someone i deeply cared about.."They" will be what they are..And perfectly within there rights to do it.. I might say"they" shouldn't have/must not react to Gere- Shilpa/MFH..But i think if they knew it was my point of view, they wud only sneer and be a little more intolerant towards me and some other people too..Isn't it something like asking a psycho not be one??...But again maybe intolerance in some teaches tolerance to others..because as a spectator you se the absurdity of it whole....So why try to make a point on issues i can do nothing about?? I can only talk of myself and increase my levels of tolerance... ".

But that was before a few days...before the gujjars in Rajasthan started their demands to be included in schedule, before clashes happened for the "Sacha Sauda" in Punjab, before Nandigram,Before a bomb went off in one of the largest gathering Praying in Jama Masjid in Hyderabad, before the sudden chaos that gripped our country where no state has been left in peace .....

Why did that happen??Are we really turning into an intolerant lot??Didn't the Mahtama teach us Non-Violence? Didn't he teach us the lesson of tolerance and patience..Didn't he give us the pride of calling ourselves Indians? The country he gave us just based on his war of non-violence and tolerance..Why have we forgotton the great Mahatma, who we call the father of the nation and still don't know why..Why have we forgotten the rich heritage of India..Why are we turning into such an intolerant lot?Is it the education or is it the politics??Is it the media?Is it that we don't have any good ideals in India anymore??Is it because one of the greatest presidents India has had, magnificient in his lethal combination of intelligence, compassion and humility, is sacrified because he denies playing into the hands of politicians??Is it because the UPA and Mayawati play symbiotic blackmail to save each others necks??Is it because our leader are based from jail?Why didn't the politicians do something to stop the initial act itself and nothing to stop the carnage that followed??When Pakistan was at the verge of a civil war over the CJ issue, when the begums of Bangladesh are either trying to save their lives in prison or go on an exile, when Sri Lanka is again gripped with the Tamil Guirellas declaring an open war.....I still thought maybe We'll never be touched by that..Our neighbours fights will teach us how much better it is to find solutions rather than violence....

But can we expect that from our people??...The collective role of politicians, media and education..It is getting so disillusioning..Are they not forgetting what politics is about? Is the education getting too technical??Is morality obsolete?Is media too taken up with frivolity to notice the bigger picture??What is going wrong and where? Nobody can deny that it is going wrong..

So ..what??where?? But we are not Pakistan under a military rule, We are absolutely not Bangladesh, We are not yet Sri Lanka..But the way the things are poised, people's tolerance is wearing thin and maybe, if things go on in the same vein , so would mine...

(This article was written before five months, and presently we have added many more such incedents to the list. The blasts in Hyderabad, the bombs going off every other day at different places firing communal tension..Have we then, run out of tolerance??and doesn't it make you wander if there's some propaganda somewhere to break the country which has stood the test of time and such turbulence since a long long time??

i have extreme faith in "us"..Let's start thinking afresh..and this time..let's please think of the India 50 years hence, rather than stick to our present and fighting about something as petty as religion.As the famous lines go.."Mazhab nahin sikhata, aapas mein bair rakhna".)

dream on o heart

dream dream dream
who has seen the tomorrow that will be
who holds the moments gone?
there's no present, it's a moment gone and moment to come
what i have is only my dreams
dream where no powers hold
no fetters bolt
the air is free and so am i
no anger, no expectation, no lie
dream o heart, that's rightly yours
lighted rooms and opened doors
noone to hate and everyone yours
smiles are yours as are tears
no explanation, no confusion, no questions asked
no preamble and no last

I love You

I Love You....

..I Love you..I'm sorry if I never told you that. I'm sorry, I never showed you what I felt....And it's now that you are gone, I'm missing you..more than anyone will ever know..I feel you every moment..I see you smile..( I swear it was lovely smiles you gave me whenever we met..even though it was probably so many times a day..)

How long were we together??12 years??Doesn't seem that long...Still remember the day you were born..I was dressed and ready to go to school..Your mom gave birth to you..So quiet and so lady like...And proud of all four of you...And I don't know what pulled me to you..But your unusual colouring, your lovely eyes made me fall in fall in love with you, then and there..The others got adopted but you didn't.. Actually, seems like we were destined to be together..You kept coming back to my place even though so many people tried taking you away..I can not be sure even today how a tiny thing , all of two months ,could find it's way back from a distance of 15 kms..through the busy streets and then the deserted lanes...( I guess you may have just cheated a bit and followed the watchman back from his village with such stealth that even he didn't realise it..)Remember how both of us got shouted at together..I think you were more human than me and I was more dog than you..The food I stole for you..and the strange tit-bits you brought me..I guess they were your gifts for me..So I loved them all.. Though it was a difficult task returning shredded new sandals to our neighbours daughter..And I realised even then you could read my mind and somehow you knew I had my heart lost on those pair of sandals..

Why did you choose such a time to die when I was not even home??After being with me for 12 years you should have atleast waited..I don't know if I would have felt any different if yours would have been a natural death..I don't know.. and I really can't feel anything now..Or maybe I'm feeling so many things at a time I can't put my finger on a single one....When I think that someone poisoned you, I feel very angry..Angry at people who can be cruel to poor dumb creatures..Sandil says get that "bozo" identified and give him a kick up his....Whatever " bozo" means, suits your murderer..I don't know if I'll be able to get that person identified firstly..Murderers do not accept their guilt even tough it's an animal, dumb animal, they have killed, I guess.. I also don't think he'll be too proud of it either..And secondly, I really don't know if there's anything I can say to him..My dogs are gone for ever..You are gone forever...When I was going for my meeting last week, you so affectionately came up to me and would have dirtied all my clothes with your dirty paws had I not given you one of my dirty looks...And to think I should have let you..to think I should have hugged you one last time...

I came back day before yesterday and I couldn't hear your bark..I thought you guys had gone for one of your nocturnal tours..And anyways I was very late and tired after being on tour for eight days and wasn't even thinking so seriously..I knew I would meet you on my morning walk..Early morning when I came out with roties to feed you..and whistled..none of you would come.. I kept calling all of you but you didn't come..And then Mom told me, you'd been killed..She said , "Your Chabloo, his wife and their two kids died two days back and only two other puppies are left.."... I always called her your wife,,don't know why..But that name suited her so well..I never even thought of any other name..Also remember the day you brought her home..that was six years back..She was so agressive and you let her be..Though I didn't like her much in the beginning I just accepted her gradually cause you were so madly in love with her..You gave her your food..You favourite place in the lawn.. So how could I not agree to the match???

Mom says maybe you ate something wrong by yourself..But how can four of you eat the same thing and die and leave two others to mourn for you? I know you shared everything..I cannot believe my intelligent companions could be so foolish to eat poison...I know someone did it knowingly..Maybe it's someone whose cattle and herd you had attacked last week..Maybe it is some other" bozo"...maybe it is you by yourself..But I hate you for leaving me without notice..I know you were growing older..Your wife too...But your kids were only 6 months old!!!!Why did they get killed too? Four of you have gone..And the two left are in mourning..There's noone to follow me on my morning walks..You always made me feel safe in those jungle roads which noone travelled on so early in the morning..No one greets me when I come back home..Noone gives me a surprise nuzzle on my neck..Noone fights to get my attention..Noone follows me around as if that's the only reason thay have been sent to this world for..And noone's left with whom I can share my thoughts....

I Love you..I always will..Thank You for being there..I know life is transitory..But you could have given me a warning atleast???

Let a new life begin,

Time has come to bury you..

I'll bury you with my own hands,

my tears will be shed, the pain will be felt,

But I'll still bury you.

it will be a burial with flowers,

with lots of lilies for the fragrance you brought to my life,

with some beautiful roses from the garden we tendeed together,

I'll pick out all thorns though..

As you never let me feel pain..

i'll make a wreath with the flowers of all colours you brought to my life...

And besides all this I'll bury a part of myself..

the part that was only yours..I'll cry for myself..

I'll cry for you a little more..

Think of the things as they could have been..

Laugh at the memories as they were..

shed a few more tears on things I couldn't do to...

I give a royal burial..

My hearbeats take the final march..

My voice croons the final song..

My eyes bear the testimomy..

Good bye darling..May you always live in peace...

The Unending Night

Mom was again at the door, for the umpteenth time . It was later than two in the morning.Where was Bubun? Why was he so late? He never got so late without informing home. He was struggling to make a place for himself in the business. For that he had to travel a lot, meet up people , attend numerous meetings..but he never stayed back so late without telling her.. He atleast gave her a call telling her where he was and that he would be late..But tonight , he hadn't ... Mom had already visited the loo five times..Nervousness brought with it loose motions for her.. And she was continuously chanting the "Hanuman Chalisa"..And sitting alternately infront of the Puja Room and drawing room and at the gate...She continuously was asking Sanchita to call him on his mobile which said only one thing- " The subcriber is not reachable".. Mom's heart was oddly fluttering and and she was trembling inside, futilely trying to push away the disturbing thoughts..

--- --- ---

Sanchita woke up and looked at the clock. It was 10 minutes to twelve.She had been looking at the clock every ten minutes. She wanted to sleep but sleep wouldn't come. She looked at her brother's neatly made empty bed which was just beside hers.And thought of the day before...
He was twenty seven and had been continuously stuck to his phone for more than eighty percent of his waking time..He rarely slept anyway.And she had caught him again talking to the girl everyone had forbidden him to talk to. Not that she was a bad girl. Just that their family was of a different social caste and Sanchita's family had never witnessed a marriage like that. And there were the usual mathematics involved of social standing and stature et al.
She had just told him point blank not to talk to her becuase that was the only thing she could do.She being the eldest of siblings had a huge responsibility on her head. She knew her parents , though very liberal, would not be able to face the stigma of the joint family and their "kutumb".
And he had reacted violently, like he always did. He told her to mind her own business and stormed out of the room.But what had hurt Sanchita more was that he had lied to her.It was something she couldn't understand. she had done her best to be her two brothers' best friend and now he was lying to her already.
And it was twelve midnight and Bubun had not yet returned...She tried to read an interesting book she's started but even though pages turned by, nothing registered..

--- --- ---

Pupun was trying to distract his thoughts by watching a rerun of some cricket match which he had probably watched thousand times..Any other day, he would have churned out the statistics like a fifth class student doing his multiplication tables..But today, if you asked him, he probably wouldn't know which match was on... He was permanently trying Bubun's number. Bubun had called him at about ten to tell him he'd be late and he had waited up. Waited because the watchman was on leave and someone had to open the gate for him.But it was already three thirty in the morning..He didn't know what to do. He saw his parents and sister all tensed up and alternatively doing rounds of their mansion , the gate and the drawing room.. And he was trying his best to avoid all of them by pretending to watch the tele.
He was scared and angry by turns. Scared because he thought maybe Bubun was drinking again. But in his heart he knew it could not be.. But again, you never knew anything for sure with Bubun. He was so moody. And so pampered.. Mom and Dad both adored him..
He was angry because his Big B didn't have an ounce of responsibility in him..specially with that stupid girl.. He didn't much like her.. Her incessant gigling and stupid lies made him sick. But he never said anything about it to anyone. He always liked keeping things to himself.
And what the heck,,He loved Bubun like noone else.. He was the pampered one..

--- -- ---

Dad had had enough. he took out the car even though his siatica was shooting tremors of pain through his shoulders.He couldn't take the tension anymore. He had completely trusted all his kids, specially Bubun.And he loved him the most. he has given him complete freedom in everything. Everything he wanted was given to him, most of the time without even asking..He drove to the hospital and from there to the Police Station if no news of him was found in the hospital.
His thoughts inadverdently went back to the time 25 years ago when Bubun was barely two. He had developed an infection in his brains and had been admitted to one of the biggest hospitals in Kolkata.. Every night then, for fifteen days had been living hell for everyone.It had been a fight against odds and the doctors had called it nothing less than a miracle when he had survived.
He had loved him all the more after that. He had been given special care and all the love and tonight he had gone without telling anyone..Dad looked at the clock on the dashboard. It showed 4.15 am.

--- --- ---

Mom was tense. she couldn't stop her tears anymore. They had been freely flowing for the last hour alongwith her prayers.Dad had called to say he hadn't got any news from both the places. And no news here was definitely good news. Sanchita was out with the dogs, looking at the sky and thinking that it was indeed the darkest before the dawn..She had sent a few SMSes to Bubun's cell phone and had called all his friends as soon as the clock had struck four. But noone knew his whereabouts. He had strange friends. Well some of them were also up and searching for him but till now there wasn't any news.
Just then, she heard Pupun's voice. He said that her sms had been delivered and he had called Bubun. He was with some of his friends and was coming home.Mom went to the Puja room for the last time and this time , the tears were definitely those of happiness. She had anger in her beautiful eyes and started muttering something about giving Bubun a scolding of his life..Pupun and Sanchita looked at each other and knew it was all crap. As soon as she saw him, she would just melt and dote him like she always did.

--- --- ---

Bubun came strolling in. Sanchita looked at the clock. It said 5.15.am. The first rays of the sun were visible in the east, casting a brilliant red hue in the morning sky.
Mom scolded him in mock anger. And Bubun was , well, himself again. He was least bothered. He said there was no need for anyone to wait up or care for him. He said he didn't want anyone to care for him either. Everyone knew him so noone said anything. He'd continue to be Bubun, the pampered one and filled with his own insecurities and his rudeness....And would never in his life understand that it had been one of the most difficult nights for their family and had seemed would never end...

--- --- ---

The story of two owls

This story begins with the birth of "Shona", the beautiful owl...Actually , to be precise , sometime earlier than that..The day her beloved "Shonu" was born..He was perfect..As perfect an owl could be..Big eyes, beautiful coat, elegant beak and a much more beautiful heart..But he had just one tiny flaw. He was mute..He could never speak. As he grew, he heard the world , helped his friends and family , bettered himself every moment and drowned every pain in his eyes.He understood everyone but noone even made the effort for him..His eyes tried expressing his thoughts, but who cared?In a world where language of words are misinterpreted what chance had he with his eyes?He was alone in this world..Loving everyone, making the dreams of his family a reality.He had forgotton his own life..He had accepted that life for him was that- a life lived for everyone else but himself....

And then on a perfectly perfect day,as she was flying away, Shona saw him, her perfect Shonu, lost in his thoughts, with tears in his eyes and stopped...Divinity knows what made her do that...Oh! Shona. Forgot to tell you about her. She lived in a tree just beside Shonu's tree. She too was perfection in herself. Beautiful, caring, loving and everything that you can call beautiful, just like her Shonu. No , she wasn't mute. Just the opposite. Talkative to the hilt. As if God had given her two mouths instead of one. She was always talking..and when noone was around, singing to herself..Everyone said she was one of the happiest creatures in the world. But, they didn't know her. She hid her pain in her smiles, in her incessant chattering and bubbly chirping.. Noone knew the fear that haunted her every moment . It was her artificail shield to save her from the vultures that lived in her tree..Those vultures who had picked at her since she could remember and left scars for life..She hid those scars well..beneath her lovely coat..And yes, She met her Shonu and he met her...

It was the moment the magic began. Shonu never understood why he loved Shona. And he loved her with his life. And Shona's life was Shonu. If he felt her to be his extension, She felt herself become complete with him. If they were perfect individually , together they were a phenomena. The language of words was never missed. They communicated easily, with their beautiful eyes, Sharing and loving each other with everything they had.Shona forgot her every fear and Shonu found his perfect ex-pression withount any words.But they lived with the vultures. Noone knows till today how they ended up in trees with vultures. And they had become there family. Shonu was married off to a vulture of a far away tree, who never understood Shonu. Shonu accepted, as he had , everything in his life.A sacrifice that he thoughtt he owed to them. He tried to forget Shona. Maybe he did.

And Shona. She still sits on her tree. Long after all vultures have gone to sleep, she looks at Shonu's tree and sometimes can see his eyes, gleaming with tears, just like the day, she had first met him...

The Shattered Glass

The mirror is broken
the mirage gone
the love i thought existed wasn't there
my imagination played games with me
it was a reflection in the glass
my love for you reflected at me
but you were beyond that one way mirror
you saw me
laughed at my foolishness
and i was lost in my fantasy
that laughter still tinkles
with the jangling of broken glass
i wait with bated breath for the pain to subside