I love You

I Love You....

..I Love you..I'm sorry if I never told you that. I'm sorry, I never showed you what I felt....And it's now that you are gone, I'm missing you..more than anyone will ever know..I feel you every moment..I see you smile..( I swear it was lovely smiles you gave me whenever we met..even though it was probably so many times a day..)

How long were we together??12 years??Doesn't seem that long...Still remember the day you were born..I was dressed and ready to go to school..Your mom gave birth to you..So quiet and so lady like...And proud of all four of you...And I don't know what pulled me to you..But your unusual colouring, your lovely eyes made me fall in fall in love with you, then and there..The others got adopted but you didn't.. Actually, seems like we were destined to be together..You kept coming back to my place even though so many people tried taking you away..I can not be sure even today how a tiny thing , all of two months ,could find it's way back from a distance of 15 kms..through the busy streets and then the deserted lanes...( I guess you may have just cheated a bit and followed the watchman back from his village with such stealth that even he didn't realise it..)Remember how both of us got shouted at together..I think you were more human than me and I was more dog than you..The food I stole for you..and the strange tit-bits you brought me..I guess they were your gifts for me..So I loved them all.. Though it was a difficult task returning shredded new sandals to our neighbours daughter..And I realised even then you could read my mind and somehow you knew I had my heart lost on those pair of sandals..

Why did you choose such a time to die when I was not even home??After being with me for 12 years you should have atleast waited..I don't know if I would have felt any different if yours would have been a natural death..I don't know.. and I really can't feel anything now..Or maybe I'm feeling so many things at a time I can't put my finger on a single one....When I think that someone poisoned you, I feel very angry..Angry at people who can be cruel to poor dumb creatures..Sandil says get that "bozo" identified and give him a kick up his....Whatever " bozo" means, suits your murderer..I don't know if I'll be able to get that person identified firstly..Murderers do not accept their guilt even tough it's an animal, dumb animal, they have killed, I guess.. I also don't think he'll be too proud of it either..And secondly, I really don't know if there's anything I can say to him..My dogs are gone for ever..You are gone forever...When I was going for my meeting last week, you so affectionately came up to me and would have dirtied all my clothes with your dirty paws had I not given you one of my dirty looks...And to think I should have let you..to think I should have hugged you one last time...

I came back day before yesterday and I couldn't hear your bark..I thought you guys had gone for one of your nocturnal tours..And anyways I was very late and tired after being on tour for eight days and wasn't even thinking so seriously..I knew I would meet you on my morning walk..Early morning when I came out with roties to feed you..and whistled..none of you would come.. I kept calling all of you but you didn't come..And then Mom told me, you'd been killed..She said , "Your Chabloo, his wife and their two kids died two days back and only two other puppies are left.."... I always called her your wife,,don't know why..But that name suited her so well..I never even thought of any other name..Also remember the day you brought her home..that was six years back..She was so agressive and you let her be..Though I didn't like her much in the beginning I just accepted her gradually cause you were so madly in love with her..You gave her your food..You favourite place in the lawn.. So how could I not agree to the match???

Mom says maybe you ate something wrong by yourself..But how can four of you eat the same thing and die and leave two others to mourn for you? I know you shared everything..I cannot believe my intelligent companions could be so foolish to eat poison...I know someone did it knowingly..Maybe it's someone whose cattle and herd you had attacked last week..Maybe it is some other" bozo"...maybe it is you by yourself..But I hate you for leaving me without notice..I know you were growing older..Your wife too...But your kids were only 6 months old!!!!Why did they get killed too? Four of you have gone..And the two left are in mourning..There's noone to follow me on my morning walks..You always made me feel safe in those jungle roads which noone travelled on so early in the morning..No one greets me when I come back home..Noone gives me a surprise nuzzle on my neck..Noone fights to get my attention..Noone follows me around as if that's the only reason thay have been sent to this world for..And noone's left with whom I can share my thoughts....

I Love you..I always will..Thank You for being there..I know life is transitory..But you could have given me a warning atleast???

Let a new life begin,

Time has come to bury you..

I'll bury you with my own hands,

my tears will be shed, the pain will be felt,

But I'll still bury you.

it will be a burial with flowers,

with lots of lilies for the fragrance you brought to my life,

with some beautiful roses from the garden we tendeed together,

I'll pick out all thorns though..

As you never let me feel pain..

i'll make a wreath with the flowers of all colours you brought to my life...

And besides all this I'll bury a part of myself..

the part that was only yours..I'll cry for myself..

I'll cry for you a little more..

Think of the things as they could have been..

Laugh at the memories as they were..

shed a few more tears on things I couldn't do to...

I give a royal burial..

My hearbeats take the final march..

My voice croons the final song..

My eyes bear the testimomy..

Good bye darling..May you always live in peace...