Do you ever find yourself? Is that search ever done?
I don't know. But i have been having this aching need to go on a pilgrimage. The personal kind. In my head , i see myself, packing a backpack, walking barefoot, all alone. Walking the roads to mountains and rivers and seas. Of meeting strangers and getting lost.
For a while at least.
I want to find myself, away from the frameworks and words people want to mould you into. You are "this" and you are "that". A "great" and the "worst". Who decides? What is their paradigm to judge? Just the minutes they spent? A word they hear. A fleeting glimpse they have. Like an optical illusion. Or a mental one. Someone made me believe that perception is a reality. And i believe it. Just that's it the reality for the one who holds the perception. Not of the one being judged.
If you feel invested enough, work on that perception, build bridges, communicate. But what if you don't care? You don't value that person who holds that perception. While some people are making loud observations about you, and sweeping judgements, you have already mentally shown the person your middle finger and shut the door. Sorry, that's where i am. After the twenty odd psychometrics, i know some things in me are standard, and some things quite at odds and contradictory. Analysis tells me, psychometrics are most times bull. Theories, still to be proven. Generalisations are general and not specific. Each tells you the result with multiple caveats. And i'm thinking, how can i be so predictable? I need to change. Do something different, something crazy. Maybe fail sometimes. Why do i carry the world like atlas?
Yes, i need my pilgrimage. As Mr Hardy would say, far away from the maddening crowds.
I don't know. But i have been having this aching need to go on a pilgrimage. The personal kind. In my head , i see myself, packing a backpack, walking barefoot, all alone. Walking the roads to mountains and rivers and seas. Of meeting strangers and getting lost.
For a while at least.
I want to find myself, away from the frameworks and words people want to mould you into. You are "this" and you are "that". A "great" and the "worst". Who decides? What is their paradigm to judge? Just the minutes they spent? A word they hear. A fleeting glimpse they have. Like an optical illusion. Or a mental one. Someone made me believe that perception is a reality. And i believe it. Just that's it the reality for the one who holds the perception. Not of the one being judged.
If you feel invested enough, work on that perception, build bridges, communicate. But what if you don't care? You don't value that person who holds that perception. While some people are making loud observations about you, and sweeping judgements, you have already mentally shown the person your middle finger and shut the door. Sorry, that's where i am. After the twenty odd psychometrics, i know some things in me are standard, and some things quite at odds and contradictory. Analysis tells me, psychometrics are most times bull. Theories, still to be proven. Generalisations are general and not specific. Each tells you the result with multiple caveats. And i'm thinking, how can i be so predictable? I need to change. Do something different, something crazy. Maybe fail sometimes. Why do i carry the world like atlas?
Yes, i need my pilgrimage. As Mr Hardy would say, far away from the maddening crowds.
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